Hypothesized reactions:
confused, surprised
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What is FEAR?
Fear is one of the most powerful emotions people ever experience. It's instinctual, it triggers our self-preservation and survival instincts.
Some people get a total rush from it, while others, like myself, are much more cautious and get freaked out easily by the things we are afraid of. I enjoy getting a rush sometimes, but only when i'm in a safe, controlled, and familiar environment. I get most of my adventures and adrenaline rushes from playing videogames and reading novels. Letting go of that "safety net" is so much harder for those of us who are always analyzing the potential outcomes and consequences of our actions. I always want to do things the right way and avoid making mistakes that could mess up my goals. I am one of those dreaded perfectionists.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Description of experiment:
For my experiment I worked on facing my fear of not being in control.
I am a perfectionist, a control freak, and i have problems trusting other people.
My experiment was inspired by a performance done on the TV show Dancing With the Stars a few seasons ago where Marie Osmond and her dance partner performed a routine where she was essentially a doll being moved around the dance floor by her partner.
I did the first round of my experiment with my boyfriend. We haven't been dating very long, so I decided this would be an interesting experiment to help us build up trust. We started out with a few "catches" where i literally allowed my body to go limp and fell backward to have him catch me. Then, in a standing position, i let him move my arms, legs, and head around into different positions, kind of like a mannequin in a department store.
Observe the reaction:
When I performed the experiment in class, i wasn't quite sure how everyone would react. But i think they were more engaged in what i was doing because they had to guess what my fear was. They seemed to find it amusing, like a game.
Analysis of hypothesis with actual outcome:
At first i figured they would be confused, a) because my fear is not necessarily one that most people realize is a fear, and b) because most people probably wouldn't let someone they don't know very well move their body around. Some people did seem a little surprised by my fear, but I think the way i presented it made my fear amusing.
Proposed changes to your idea:
I was actually quite pleased with the results. I think the fact that people found my experiment amusing (and the fact that I myself found it amusing) has helped me take another step toward overcoming that fear. If i were to change anything about the experiment, I might make it a little more in depth, a little more complex somehow. Doing something bolder, like skydiving, where i'm free-falling in the air would really put me out of my element. But I know i'm still not ready for such a step right now.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Class Recap 3/1 (because i've forgotten what week we're on...)
My favorite part of this class was the showing of the rocks. I love gemstones, so I really appreciated the more crystalline rocks. When I saw the light, I wasn't quite sure what was going on though. But once I saw the rocks glowing I thought it was beautiful. Now I want some glow-in-the-dark rocks haha :3
The "turds" looked absolutely disgusting, so I didn't dare take one. I could smell the chocolate, but just looking at them made me want to hurl. I avoided looking at them as much as I could until they were moved (why did they have to be right in the center of the room?).
The monsters Beth showed us at the end of class were cool, but they were a little creepy. I can see why she called them "cute" because they are a little cartoony, but they seemed a little disproportionate, which can be unnerving. They were a wee bit awkward- like the artist was trying to make them silly and scary at the same time.
The "turds" looked absolutely disgusting, so I didn't dare take one. I could smell the chocolate, but just looking at them made me want to hurl. I avoided looking at them as much as I could until they were moved (why did they have to be right in the center of the room?).
The monsters Beth showed us at the end of class were cool, but they were a little creepy. I can see why she called them "cute" because they are a little cartoony, but they seemed a little disproportionate, which can be unnerving. They were a wee bit awkward- like the artist was trying to make them silly and scary at the same time.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Layers, and layers... of Onions.
...not really. I'm not a big fan of onions. But I am a fan of layers, of depth.
People have many different layers. Sometimes it's impossible to really know someone until they tell you their deepest secrets. Even Shakespeare's poetry has hidden meanings that need to be deciphered. Every person is different. Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves, and some may never open up.
For this assignment I chose to write a poem about a girl who always puts on a mask of cheerfulness, even when she truly feels darker. I also did a few watercolor paintings to visually represent the girl in the poem.
Even drenched in darkness,
She shone like the sun,
With the grace of a princess,
She let herself come undone.
She wished for the world,
For a beautiful starlit sky,
But she was left in the cold,
Without even a good-bye.
She never settled down,
She refused others' pity,
Though she wore a broken crown,
She fancied it pretty.
Slowly she unraveled,
And her pristine wall fell,
From now on she must travel,
So she can no longer dwell.
People have many different layers. Sometimes it's impossible to really know someone until they tell you their deepest secrets. Even Shakespeare's poetry has hidden meanings that need to be deciphered. Every person is different. Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves, and some may never open up.
For this assignment I chose to write a poem about a girl who always puts on a mask of cheerfulness, even when she truly feels darker. I also did a few watercolor paintings to visually represent the girl in the poem.
Even drenched in darkness,
She shone like the sun,
With the grace of a princess,
She let herself come undone.
She wished for the world,
For a beautiful starlit sky,
But she was left in the cold,
Without even a good-bye.
She never settled down,
She refused others' pity,
Though she wore a broken crown,
She fancied it pretty.
Slowly she unraveled,
And her pristine wall fell,
From now on she must travel,
So she can no longer dwell.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Class #4 Recap
It was kinda cool how you could tie in what multiple people did and come up with one project idea from it. It seems like we all did kind of psychedellic things with color, i was surprised that other people had similar ideas to my own. A lot of the time we think that we're all so different from other people, when in reality we all have a lot more in common than you'd think at first glance.
The movie we watched was fantastic- a little bit creepy- but fantastic all the same. By the time it was almost over, I had gotten so into it that I couldn't help but stay until the end. I was thinking about it, and all the emotions it brought out for the rest of the night. It was very philosophically driven- which is my favorite kind of movie. I liked how it took the father and daughter and showed them in so many different contexts, particularly the father. They did a good job of capturing so many different facets of his life and personality, and showed it all off in a fantasy world to grab and keep the viewers' attention.
The movie we watched was fantastic- a little bit creepy- but fantastic all the same. By the time it was almost over, I had gotten so into it that I couldn't help but stay until the end. I was thinking about it, and all the emotions it brought out for the rest of the night. It was very philosophically driven- which is my favorite kind of movie. I liked how it took the father and daughter and showed them in so many different contexts, particularly the father. They did a good job of capturing so many different facets of his life and personality, and showed it all off in a fantasy world to grab and keep the viewers' attention.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Bliss + Breaking Rules
Bliss:
I don't see why our society thinks that doing something fun is considered "stealing time". When I had finally found the time to sit down and think about what I wanted to do for bliss time, I had no clue where to start. I am always running around fulfilling obligations to other people and to work and school, but I realized that I never take any time to myself. I'm always so busy fulfilling obligations that I don't even really hang out with my friends, unless we're doing schoolwork together. It's no surprise I feel so lonely and stressed out all the time. I always put everything and everyone else before myself. I realized that I need more than a few hours of uninterrupted bliss: I need an entire vacation. But for now, I settled with this:
For my personal bliss I decided to watch the 2009 TV adaptation of Jane Austen's "Emma". I am a huge Jane Austen fan, and I think that Emma is probably the one of her heroines that is most like myself.
Emma is friendly, charming, eccentric, stubborn, a bit spoiled, a good judge of character, and fancies herself a matchmaker- though she says that she will never marry herself, unless she is truly in love.
She successfully marries off her older sister to one of their childhood friends, John Knightley, and then proceeds to marry off her governess to a wealthy widower, Mr. Weston, in their town. She then befriends a young woman named Harriet, whose lineage is a mystery (leaving everyone to assume that she is an illegitimate child). Emma, believing her to be the daughter of nobility, takes her under her wing and tries unsuccessfully to marry her friend off to an arrogant clergyman who is actually in love with Emma.
Due to the combination of her over-confidence in her ability to read people, and her lack of attention to herself, she inadvertently hurt her friend and embarrassed herself.
She then meets Mr. Weston's son, Frank Churchill, who was taken in by his aunt as a young child, whom she had been fantasizing about meeting for her entire life. He immediately shows interest in her and flirts openly and carelessly. When his aunt, who is sick, makes him return to her, Emma finds that she is not at all in love him, though she did enjoy his company. When he returned she was afraid that he was in love with her, but was relieved when he did not seem to be so.
Emma then, thinking that her friend Harriet was falling in love with Mr. Churchill, encourages her to pursue him. However, Emma later finds out that Harriet did not like Mr. Churchill, but instead fancied Emma's closest friend, George Knightley, (the elder brother of her sister's husband). After that Emma finally realized that she was in love with Mr. Knightley, and curses herself for her blindness to her own feelings.
Thinking that Mr. Knightley is indeed in love with her friend, she reluctantly lets him make a confession to her. Only he confesses that he is in love with Emma, and she consents to marry him. She later finds out that Harriet accepted the proposal of an old friend of hers, who is in charge of the farm on Mr. Knightley's estate.
I think that I relate so well to this story because often it feels like my own life is a hectic heart-wrenching drama as well. My own friends often ask me for advice in the romance department because I am typically very observant of people's behavior, and am usually very detached from the outcomes. But when it comes to myself I am at a total loss, just like Emma. I have had the desperate guys pursue me, and I have also been with men that I honestly thought I should be in love with. The one big difference in my story and Emma's is that my Mr. Knightley always seems to be so elusive. I constantly think that if he is already here, that I can't help but be oblivious to it.
I am drawn to Jane Austen's novels time and time again because the characters are always so rich, and she describes so many different types of relationships that it's not only educational in the way of experiencing another culture, but it's informative of how relationships are always so different. No two people and no two relationships are exactly alike. And sometimes you can even know a person all your life and never really know them until someone else comes along and interferes.
But I'm also a hopeless romantic, so watching and reading about peoples trials and tribulations in love are also completely amusing as well. :3
----------------------------------------------------------
Breaking Rules:
I love color, so for my breaking of rules, I chose to break the rule of "do not make your subject an unnatural color!" It may not be realistic, but I think it's fun having a purple dog, or even a red one :3
I don't see why our society thinks that doing something fun is considered "stealing time". When I had finally found the time to sit down and think about what I wanted to do for bliss time, I had no clue where to start. I am always running around fulfilling obligations to other people and to work and school, but I realized that I never take any time to myself. I'm always so busy fulfilling obligations that I don't even really hang out with my friends, unless we're doing schoolwork together. It's no surprise I feel so lonely and stressed out all the time. I always put everything and everyone else before myself. I realized that I need more than a few hours of uninterrupted bliss: I need an entire vacation. But for now, I settled with this:
For my personal bliss I decided to watch the 2009 TV adaptation of Jane Austen's "Emma". I am a huge Jane Austen fan, and I think that Emma is probably the one of her heroines that is most like myself.
Emma is friendly, charming, eccentric, stubborn, a bit spoiled, a good judge of character, and fancies herself a matchmaker- though she says that she will never marry herself, unless she is truly in love.
She successfully marries off her older sister to one of their childhood friends, John Knightley, and then proceeds to marry off her governess to a wealthy widower, Mr. Weston, in their town. She then befriends a young woman named Harriet, whose lineage is a mystery (leaving everyone to assume that she is an illegitimate child). Emma, believing her to be the daughter of nobility, takes her under her wing and tries unsuccessfully to marry her friend off to an arrogant clergyman who is actually in love with Emma.
Due to the combination of her over-confidence in her ability to read people, and her lack of attention to herself, she inadvertently hurt her friend and embarrassed herself.
She then meets Mr. Weston's son, Frank Churchill, who was taken in by his aunt as a young child, whom she had been fantasizing about meeting for her entire life. He immediately shows interest in her and flirts openly and carelessly. When his aunt, who is sick, makes him return to her, Emma finds that she is not at all in love him, though she did enjoy his company. When he returned she was afraid that he was in love with her, but was relieved when he did not seem to be so.
Emma then, thinking that her friend Harriet was falling in love with Mr. Churchill, encourages her to pursue him. However, Emma later finds out that Harriet did not like Mr. Churchill, but instead fancied Emma's closest friend, George Knightley, (the elder brother of her sister's husband). After that Emma finally realized that she was in love with Mr. Knightley, and curses herself for her blindness to her own feelings.
Thinking that Mr. Knightley is indeed in love with her friend, she reluctantly lets him make a confession to her. Only he confesses that he is in love with Emma, and she consents to marry him. She later finds out that Harriet accepted the proposal of an old friend of hers, who is in charge of the farm on Mr. Knightley's estate.
I think that I relate so well to this story because often it feels like my own life is a hectic heart-wrenching drama as well. My own friends often ask me for advice in the romance department because I am typically very observant of people's behavior, and am usually very detached from the outcomes. But when it comes to myself I am at a total loss, just like Emma. I have had the desperate guys pursue me, and I have also been with men that I honestly thought I should be in love with. The one big difference in my story and Emma's is that my Mr. Knightley always seems to be so elusive. I constantly think that if he is already here, that I can't help but be oblivious to it.
I am drawn to Jane Austen's novels time and time again because the characters are always so rich, and she describes so many different types of relationships that it's not only educational in the way of experiencing another culture, but it's informative of how relationships are always so different. No two people and no two relationships are exactly alike. And sometimes you can even know a person all your life and never really know them until someone else comes along and interferes.
But I'm also a hopeless romantic, so watching and reading about peoples trials and tribulations in love are also completely amusing as well. :3
----------------------------------------------------------
Breaking Rules:
I love color, so for my breaking of rules, I chose to break the rule of "do not make your subject an unnatural color!" It may not be realistic, but I think it's fun having a purple dog, or even a red one :3
Monday, February 15, 2010
circling around
Q&A:
~What defines a circle?
A circle is something that always leads back to it's point of origin, whether exactly, or with slight alterations.
~How does a circle make you feel?
A circle makes me feel relaxed, and sometimes fascinated. It's probably the most beautiful shape in existence. A circle lasts forever, it symbolizes eternity. It's very peaceful. It helps me believe that things will get better again when things in life aren't going too well. It's comforting.
~Where do you encounter a circle?
Circles are everywhere. They're in so many places it's hard to see them all. There are so many squares, triangles, and other harsh shapes that circles just sort of blend into the background. They are in our bodies, on our vehicles; our planet is a circle; a camera lens is a circle that produces images that are rectangles. Snow flakes and rain drops are circles, even tornadoes are circles.
~What do circles mean to me?
Circles are very natural- we can't control them. We don't know where they start or where they end. Circles have no rules, you can go off on tangents, but those tangents still have a point where they connect with the circle. Everything comes back to a circle, be it the changing of the seasons, or a relationship with another person that you are very close to.
-------------------------------------------
1: http://www.mosaicprojects.com.au/Gif/StakeholderCircle2.gif
2: http://luxor-xul.sourceforge.net/talk/jug-nov-2002/images/svg-circle-intro.jpg
3: http://www.realcolorwheel.com/colorwheel.htg/Real_Color_Wheel_475.jpg
4: http://z.about.com/d/suvs/1/0/0/R/-/-/Wheel.jpg
5: http://haacked.com/images/BMFerrisWheel.jpg
6: http://gameracer.com.au/eshop/images/50-1-xbox360_nitro_wheel.jpg
7: http://rakkudesigns.com/products/silver.wheel_lrg.jpg
8: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/64/202565433_36ac58d12c_o.jpg
9: http://www.pangolin.com/images/spin_vga.jpg
10: http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/ol-images/nursery/uploads/2007_08_10_spinning_photo2.jpg
11: http://einstein.stanford.edu/Library/images/GPB-Concept-Dgrm-lg.jpg
12: http://www.bradcarlile.com/images-framed/Playground-Spin.jpg
13: http://www.thefizzbook.co.uk/images/spin-laptop.JPG
14: http://technabob.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/led_hula_hoop_sideways.jpg
15: http://www.greatjewelryguide.com/wp-content/uploads/platinum-hoop-earrings-photo.jpg
16: 123454321 (palindromes)
17: waves
18: life
19: relationships
20: macaroni
21: stories
22: smiles
23: laughter
24: music
25: tarot cards
26: fate
27: 4x + 4y = 64
28: karma
29: eyes
30: family
~What defines a circle?
A circle is something that always leads back to it's point of origin, whether exactly, or with slight alterations.
~How does a circle make you feel?
A circle makes me feel relaxed, and sometimes fascinated. It's probably the most beautiful shape in existence. A circle lasts forever, it symbolizes eternity. It's very peaceful. It helps me believe that things will get better again when things in life aren't going too well. It's comforting.
~Where do you encounter a circle?
Circles are everywhere. They're in so many places it's hard to see them all. There are so many squares, triangles, and other harsh shapes that circles just sort of blend into the background. They are in our bodies, on our vehicles; our planet is a circle; a camera lens is a circle that produces images that are rectangles. Snow flakes and rain drops are circles, even tornadoes are circles.
~What do circles mean to me?
Circles are very natural- we can't control them. We don't know where they start or where they end. Circles have no rules, you can go off on tangents, but those tangents still have a point where they connect with the circle. Everything comes back to a circle, be it the changing of the seasons, or a relationship with another person that you are very close to.
-------------------------------------------
1: http://www.mosaicprojects.com.au/Gif/StakeholderCircle2.gif
2: http://luxor-xul.sourceforge.net/talk/jug-nov-2002/images/svg-circle-intro.jpg
3: http://www.realcolorwheel.com/colorwheel.htg/Real_Color_Wheel_475.jpg
4: http://z.about.com/d/suvs/1/0/0/R/-/-/Wheel.jpg
5: http://haacked.com/images/BMFerrisWheel.jpg
6: http://gameracer.com.au/eshop/images/50-1-xbox360_nitro_wheel.jpg
7: http://rakkudesigns.com/products/silver.wheel_lrg.jpg
8: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/64/202565433_36ac58d12c_o.jpg
9: http://www.pangolin.com/images/spin_vga.jpg
10: http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/ol-images/nursery/uploads/2007_08_10_spinning_photo2.jpg
11: http://einstein.stanford.edu/Library/images/GPB-Concept-Dgrm-lg.jpg
12: http://www.bradcarlile.com/images-framed/Playground-Spin.jpg
13: http://www.thefizzbook.co.uk/images/spin-laptop.JPG
14: http://technabob.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/led_hula_hoop_sideways.jpg
15: http://www.greatjewelryguide.com/wp-content/uploads/platinum-hoop-earrings-photo.jpg
16: 123454321 (palindromes)
17: waves
18: life
19: relationships
20: macaroni
21: stories
22: smiles
23: laughter
24: music
25: tarot cards
26: fate
27: 4x + 4y = 64
28: karma
29: eyes
30: family
Monday, February 8, 2010
Class #3 Response
I loved the "lights out" experiment. I didn't realize, until after Beth mentioned it, that more people were talking when the lights were out (or when the disco ball was on) than when the lights are on. We should have more classes like that! It really does make it easier, especially for New Media people like us, because we tend to be a more introverted breed. Most of us are so caught up in the ideas swirling around in our heads that when it comes time for us to take a stand and present ourselves to the world, we lack confidence. As an introvert myself, I know all too well how difficult it is to gain, and then maintain that confidence. Sometimes you have it one day, and then it may be months before you actually get it back again. We tend to get really brilliant ideas, but only share them with the few people closest to us (if we even share them at all!). There's a reason "trolls" are out there on the internet- because that's the only place they can feel confident about themselves. When nobody knows who you are to attack you for your opinions, it's like an adrenaline rush of confidence. And in an online setting, you never have to go back and look at your comment again, or deal with any responses you may get if you dont want to. In real life, if you are face to face with someone and you insult them, then you are forced to deal with the consequences right then and there. And the pressusre and guilt of that is never easy to deal with.
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