class response 3/29/10

I thought it was intriguing to see so many different fears, and to see how many people had similar fears (the fear of heights, and public speaking being the two that came up). It was also interesting to see the different levels of depth to peoples fears: some people went with universal, run-of-the-mill fears, like heights, and some people really dug into their own psychological make-up. I also liked seeing the ways in which people expressed their fears: some of us physically faced our fears, while others used visual representations, and some people used words. I think how we express ourselves says a lot about a person, sometimes more than the what/where/when/why. Those of us that went for the more bold physical approach may have a greater desire to make an impact on other people. Those with visual representations may be a little more spiritual or abstract, and able to go with the flow more. And those who used words may be drawn more to the emotional connections they make with other people.

f.e.a.r.

Hypothesized reactions:

confused, surprised

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What is FEAR?

Fear is one of the most powerful emotions people ever experience. It's instinctual, it triggers our self-preservation and survival instincts.

Some people get a total rush from it, while others, like myself, are much more cautious and get freaked out easily by the things we are afraid of. I enjoy getting a rush sometimes, but only when i'm in a safe, controlled, and familiar environment. I get most of my adventures and adrenaline rushes from playing videogames and reading novels. Letting go of that "safety net" is so much harder for those of us who are always analyzing the potential outcomes and consequences of our actions. I always want to do things the right way and avoid making mistakes that could mess up my goals. I am one of those dreaded perfectionists.

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Description of experiment:

For my experiment I worked on facing my fear of not being in control.

I am a perfectionist, a control freak, and i have problems trusting other people.

My experiment was inspired by a performance done on the TV show Dancing With the Stars a few seasons ago where Marie Osmond and her dance partner performed a routine where she was essentially a doll being moved around the dance floor by her partner.

I did the first round of my experiment with my boyfriend. We haven't been dating very long, so I decided this would be an interesting experiment to help us build up trust. We started out with a few "catches" where i literally allowed my body to go limp and fell backward to have him catch me. Then, in a standing position, i let him move my arms, legs, and head around into different positions, kind of like a mannequin in a department store.

Observe the reaction:

When I performed the experiment in class, i wasn't quite sure how everyone would react. But i think they were more engaged in what i was doing because they had to guess what my fear was. They seemed to find it amusing, like a game.

Analysis of hypothesis with actual outcome:

At first i figured they would be confused, a) because my fear is not necessarily one that most people realize is a fear, and b) because most people probably wouldn't let someone they don't know very well move their body around. Some people did seem a little surprised by my fear, but I think the way i presented it made my fear amusing.

Proposed changes to your idea:

I was actually quite pleased with the results. I think the fact that people found my experiment amusing (and the fact that I myself found it amusing) has helped me take another step toward overcoming that fear. If i were to change anything about the experiment, I might make it a little more in depth, a little more complex somehow. Doing something bolder, like skydiving, where i'm free-falling in the air would really put me out of my element. But I know i'm still not ready for such a step right now.

Class Recap 3/1 (because i've forgotten what week we're on...)

My favorite part of this class was the showing of the rocks. I love gemstones, so I really appreciated the more crystalline rocks. When I saw the light, I wasn't quite sure what was going on though. But once I saw the rocks glowing I thought it was beautiful. Now I want some glow-in-the-dark rocks haha :3

The "turds" looked absolutely disgusting, so I didn't dare take one. I could smell the chocolate, but just looking at them made me want to hurl. I avoided looking at them as much as I could until they were moved (why did they have to be right in the center of the room?).

The monsters Beth showed us at the end of class were cool, but they were a little creepy. I can see why she called them "cute" because they are a little cartoony, but they seemed a little disproportionate, which can be unnerving. They were a wee bit awkward- like the artist was trying to make them silly and scary at the same time.

Layers, and layers... of Onions.

...not really. I'm not a big fan of onions. But I am a fan of layers, of depth.

People have many different layers. Sometimes it's impossible to really know someone until they tell you their deepest secrets. Even Shakespeare's poetry has hidden meanings that need to be deciphered. Every person is different. Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves, and some may never open up.

For this assignment I chose to write a poem about a girl who always puts on a mask of cheerfulness, even when she truly feels darker. I also did a few watercolor paintings to visually represent the girl in the poem.

Even drenched in darkness,
She shone like the sun,
With the grace of a princess,
She let herself come undone.



She wished for the world,
For a beautiful starlit sky,
But she was left in the cold,
Without even a good-bye.



She never settled down,
She refused others' pity,
Though she wore a broken crown,
She fancied it pretty.



Slowly she unraveled,
And her pristine wall fell,
From now on she must travel,
So she can no longer dwell.